My life changing vow - number 294

This is a post about who I want to be. It will be up here, on the internet not for everyone, but for me. If it was hidden away in some file on my computer it might never affect me again. Hopefully this will be different. (I apologize to any poor reader who comes across this and is apalled by my self-centeredness.) Sometimes I imagine the future me. I'm cool and hip, my life together. A stylish apartment, good job, healthy relationships, and delicious nutritious home cooked meals (by me). I go jogging in the mornings while I listen to something out of a movie soundtrack on my mp3 player. I have time to shower, do my hair and makeup, and have a good breakfast before I go to my office job. I enjoy my work, and do well, and I get off at a reasonable time to hang out with one of my many friends at some corner bistro or art festival. Of course I still game when I get home, a cat on my lap and dog at my feet. My fiance comes over some nights and we relax or go out together. I'm also taking an online college course to earn my second degree. Every weekend I visit my family, and I never forget any special events. I just want to be the average well-adjusted member of society. 1. I want to be happy. Pretty much everything else on this list leans towards this one final end goal. None of these things guarantee it. Everyone has their own idea of what brings happiness, and there are plenty that I believe have a good amount of value to them, and are essential pieces of the puzzle. God, relationships, and self-worth all come to mind immediately. 2. I want to be healthier. I'm avoiding skinnier here, or hotter, or sexier, or any such word. I just want to be healthier. I want to feel good about my body and how I take care of it. Lately I've been literally craving wholesome food - I've been such a bad steward of my body. So I'm trying to eat better, listen better, etc. 3. I want to have a high ongoing level of organization and structure to my life. Not that I want to always know what's coming, but I want to have my ducks in a row. All my bills and responsibilities organized. In a roll top desk. Or on my laptop. Just somewhere. Somewhere that I keep up with. If that organization can spill over into my closet, I wouldn't complain about that either. 4. I want to accomplish things that I start. Like college. Exercising regularly. Crafting. A book. I just want to follow through with my own projects. I'm sure this has to do with the organization thing, but it feels like I just don't finish things. And it's a depressing thought for me. 5. I want to be the friend that I want. I try to be a good friend, but (back to organization again?) I have trouble juggling more than say, 3 relationships at a time. I just don't know how to divide things up, and split my energies. I might put too much energy into each individual relationship, or maybe I assume things have to be more complicated than they actually do, but I feel like a terrible friend to most of my friends most of the time. I feel like I constantly need to find a way to be there for and please everyone, and when I can't, I feel like I can't do anything. Failure. So I want to get better at that. At casual, comfortable friendships. Maybe everything doesn't need to be all or nothing, do or die, all the time. That's basically it. It's a much smaller list than I expected really. So once again internet, I pledge to you that this time, I will devote time and effort to slowly bring my life to the place that I want it to be. I will set aside time to pursue my goal of happiness, and I will work through my list bit by excruciating bit. On my honor as a woman.